On being indifferent.

Hi, netizens. So how has 2015 been treating everyone? I hope things have been going well for everyone.

So on to today's topic, being indifferent. Throughout my short life so far on this earth, I've been told by people around me, on numerous occasions, that I just don't care enough about things or that I come off very aloof at first. Well, all of that, i have to say, is true. That's not to say that i'm completely void of emotion, i still do care about things that i think are of value and will warm up to people (no matter how eventually) if we were to ever be friends.

Okay, so me being, for the most part, indifferent. The thing is, people have to understand that, things don't mean as much as they seem to. What i mean is, the things you think matter, only do, because you imbued it with the power to matter. We make the thing matter when, in most circumstances, it doesn't. I, had just not given things the power to matter as much as they do to others. When you start doing this, you'll realise that you'll have less cognitive clutter, by which i mean anxiety and worry, in addition to seeing things for what they really are.

For example, how many of you are scared of doing badly or even failing a test/exam? I'm sure many of you are. But anyone who has gotten a bad grade/failed will tell you that in hindsight, the bad grade/failure didn't really matter. I'm not telling you not to try, or do badly just cos it didn't really matter, what i'm saying is if you concentrate too much on the possibility that you might fail, it only hinders your ability to do well, giving you test/exam anxiety which studies have proven actually does affect your test/exam scores (google it).

That's all for now, so to conclude this post, stop giving so many fucks as the internet would say.

-Rachel

P.S. yes i know i've been gone for a really long time --not that anyone cares-- but i'll try to post more often, no promises though.

Sometimes Quitting Is The Best Thing You Can Do

Happy Belated New Year People of the internet! :)

WHOOP! My first post of the year! And what better way to start the New Year, than to talk about quitting? Well aren't I off to a good start. Okay so all jokes aside, i want to seriously talk about quitting. I know quitting has severe negative connotations but i wanna change that today. But just to preface this, QUITTING =/= GIVING UP. Quitting simply means abandoning the path you're on to take another path to get to the same goal. So with this in mind, i'll get on with the post.

So when is it time to quit something, you [didnt] ask? It's when the cost of staying outweighs both the benefit of staying and cost of quitting; cost of staying > benefit of staying + cost of quitting. Don't get it?
Here's an example: the cost of holding your bowels, when you really need to go, in public instead of just going at a public restroom. The cost of holding your shit in: a lot discomfort, anxiety/fear(from not wanting to shit your pants), may lead to constipation; the benefit from holding your shit in: nothing; cost of going to a public restroom: it may be dirty causing mild discomfort or anxiety of you're a germaphobe. So by doing the math: a lot discomfort, anxiety/fear(from not wanting to shit your pants), may lead to constipation (4 things) > nothing  + it may be dirty causing mild discomfort or anxiety of you're a germaphobe (2 things). Therefore, in this scenario, you'd quit being stubborn and just go to the public restroom.

Those of you who have taken a class in microeconomics before would know that this is a concept called rational decision making.

That said, what am i quitting? I'm quitting school; specifically, Junior College (JC), and i'm transferring to a Polytechnic. Yes people, I have officially quit school, but fret not, i've already gotten a place in the Polytechnic. I guess i didn't think it through last year when i was deliberating between these two options. Side-note: who thought it was a good idea to let 16-year-olds choose their roads when they don't know snap about the fuck they want. Anyway, i digress, JC is just not the right path for me; the cost of staying far outweigh the benefit of staying and the cost of quitting. Going to school was so taxing on me physically and mentally; i started to become extremely cynical and nihilistic, because i hated whatever i was studying which led to a lack of motivation to put in any sort of effort into my studies, leading to extremely dismal grades. Thank god for the amazing class i landed in and my tutors, if not i'd probably be angry all the time. But since i retained this year, none of that applies anymore.

So, the cost of staying: taxing physically and mentally, hating life and school, anxiety, anger, motivation; benefit of staying: friends, money; cost of quitting: social pressure, time. Doing the math; taxing physically and mentally, hating life and school, anxiety, anger, motivation (7 things) > friends, money + social pressure, time (4 things). Hence, the rational thing for me to do was quit, and so i did, after much contemplation.

However, quitting by no means was an easy decision, even after pseudo-mathematically calculating it. It's easy to feel like staying is more advantageous because of all the time and effort you spent on that certain thing and quitting feels like a waste. Even so, it's not like you can get the time and effort you spent back, and since it also never did any good, why not switch? Don't get me wrong, i've learned a lot in JC, but I've learnt all i could learn there (maybe i'll do a separate post on that), and it was the best decision for me, given these circumstance, to quit. Thus, sometimes quitting is really the best thing you can do.

You've made it till' the end of this wordy post, congratulations! I hope everybody is doing well as always, and stay healthy!

-Rachel